A head-hunter called me this week. They wanted to meet me before agreeing to
represent me.
As I am very keen to be offered more freelance work, I was
thrilled.
The more I thought about how important it was that I make a
good impression, the more the inside of my head looked like a fight scene in a
Hanna-Barbera cartoon.
These were some of my Tom and Jerry thoughts:
I need this interview to go well. I was very anxious at the last interview. I
am a failure. I don’t want to be doing this anyway. Advertising has an unfair age-ceiling.
I don’t deserve a lovely job. My expectations are too high. I’m beating a
dead-horse. If only I was brave enough to make cold-calls. If only I had better
self-esteem. The only thing standing in
the way of getting a new job is my inability to control my anxiety. My career
is over. Etcetera. Etcetera.
But for some unknown reason, on the morning of the interview, I had a wild and crazy thought.
This is what it was:
This interview is just another interview out of the thousands I’ve had in the business. Probably nothing will happen as a result of it. Let’s see how it feels as I go in, while I’m in it and how I feel after it. Let’s just be curious about what I experience moment to moment.
I became more interested in the experience of the journey
than the purpose of the journey.
I let go of trying to control the outcome.
I let go of trying to control the outcome.
This is what happened
on the day of the interview
On the way there, I watched myself on the train getting a
little anxious about leaving behind my portfolio which was next to my feet. I
picked it up and put it on my lap.
I watched myself get a bit thirsty. I stopped and bought myself a bottle of water.
I watched myself worrying about getting lost and being late. I asked for directions.
As I met the two recruiters, my bracelet and sunglasses flew across the room as I stood up to shake their hands. I watched myself quickly regain my composure.
We went upstairs and sat on the roof terrace in the sun. It was hot. I drank the water I had bought earlier.
I watched myself being dynamic, clear, confident and graceful.
I learned what Just Do It means.
It means don’t look ahead. Look now.
Because that is where the power is.
When I let go of the outcome, the path rose up to meet me.
I suspect it works for most things.
Unhappily married? Let go of the outcome. Listen quietly and non-judgementally to yourself moment by moment. Talk (or don’t talk) from that place.
Feeling fat? Let go of the outcome. Listen quietly and
judgementally to yourself moment by moment. Eat (or don’t eat) from that place.
Feeling anxious? Let go of the desired outcome of freedom
from anxiety. Listen quietly and non-judgementally to yourself in the
moment. Have your anxiety; it doesn’t have
to have you.
You know that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where he needs to cross a chasm and suddenly he sees the invisible path that will take him across?
It’s a great metaphor for what happens when you see that the goal is an illusion,
that the past and the future are irrelevant,
that the only power you have is in this moment,
putting one foot in front of the other.
putting one foot in front of the other.
Summer Supper
The goal was not to make a quick meal for my family that was
healthy and more delicious than anything the great Ottolenghi himself could
have made, but that’s what happened. Ten
fingers.
This is how:
Couscous salad
250 gm. Couscous
400 ml boiling water
Tiny cubes of one sweet potato boiled till soft
Beluga lentils
Chopped flat leaf parsley
Salt, pepper, cinnamon on the sweet potato
Tablespoon of oil in the couscous
Put couscous in bowl. Add boiling water and oil. Leave for a
bit. Add other ingredients.
Fish Ocean basket
style
Plate of flour with fish spice mix
Plate of sunflower oil
Jug of melted butter and lemon juice
S&P
Fish fillets: cod, haddock or kingklip
Dip fish fillets in flour mix, in oil plate
Then onto hot, oiled frying pan for 6 or 7 minutes
Then plate
Pour over with butter/lemon juice
Steamed asparagus
