How to put your best foot forward

A head-hunter called me this week.  They wanted to meet me before agreeing to represent me.

As I am very keen to be offered more freelance work, I was thrilled.

The more I thought about how important it was that I make a good impression, the more the inside of my head looked like a fight scene in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.

These were some of my Tom and Jerry thoughts:

I need this interview to go well.  I was very anxious at the last interview. I am a failure. I don’t want to be doing this anyway. Advertising has an unfair age-ceiling. I don’t deserve a lovely job. My expectations are too high. I’m beating a dead-horse. If only I was brave enough to make cold-calls. If only I had better self-esteem.  The only thing standing in the way of getting a new job is my inability to control my anxiety. My career is over. Etcetera.  Etcetera.

But for some unknown reason, on the morning of the interview, I had a wild and crazy thought.

This is what it was:

This interview is just another interview out of the thousands I’ve had in the business. Probably nothing will happen as a result of it. Let’s see how it feels as I go in, while I’m in it and how I feel after it. Let’s just be curious about what I experience moment to moment.

I became more interested in the experience of the journey than the purpose of the journey.

I let go of trying to control the outcome.

This is what happened on the day of the interview

On the way there, I watched myself on the train getting a little anxious about leaving behind my portfolio which was next to my feet. I picked it up and put it on my lap.

I watched myself get a bit thirsty. I stopped and bought myself a bottle of water.

I watched myself worrying about getting lost and being late. I asked for directions.

As I met the two recruiters, my bracelet and sunglasses flew across the room as I stood up to shake their hands. I watched myself quickly regain my composure.

We went upstairs and sat on the roof terrace in the sun. It was hot. I drank the water I had bought earlier.

I watched myself being dynamic, clear, confident and graceful.

I learned what Just Do It means.

It means don’t look ahead. Look now.

Because that is where the power is.

When I let go of the outcome, the path rose up to meet me.

I suspect it works for most things.

Unhappily married? Let go of the outcome. Listen quietly and non-judgementally to yourself moment by moment. Talk (or don’t talk) from that place.

Feeling fat? Let go of the outcome. Listen quietly and judgementally to yourself moment by moment.  Eat (or don’t eat) from that place.

Feeling anxious? Let go of the desired outcome of freedom from anxiety. Listen quietly and non-judgementally to yourself in the moment.  Have your anxiety; it doesn’t have to have you.

You know that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where he needs to cross a chasm and suddenly he sees the invisible path that will take him across?

It’s a great metaphor for what happens when you see that the goal is an illusion,

that the past and the future are irrelevant,

that the only power you have is in this moment,
putting one foot in front of the other.

Summer Supper

The goal was not to make a quick meal for my family that was healthy and more delicious than anything the great Ottolenghi himself could have made, but that’s what happened.  Ten fingers.

This is how:

Couscous salad

250 gm. Couscous

400 ml boiling water

Tiny cubes of one sweet potato boiled till soft

Beluga lentils

Chopped flat leaf parsley

Salt, pepper, cinnamon on the sweet potato

Tablespoon of oil in the couscous

Put couscous in bowl. Add boiling water and oil. Leave for a bit. Add other ingredients.

Fish Ocean basket style

Plate of flour with fish spice mix

Plate of sunflower oil

Jug of melted butter and lemon juice

S&P

Fish fillets: cod, haddock or kingklip

Dip fish fillets in flour mix, in oil plate

Then onto hot, oiled frying pan for 6 or 7 minutes

Then plate

Pour over with butter/lemon juice 

Steamed asparagus